The first day of work went quite well.

If I don't cock it up I should be able to work until the end of august and have a bit of money.
I really miss jess.

Life at the end of April.

Finished my dissertation and other bits of work, to a dubious standard no doubt on account of my exhaustion and general dementia by the time of the actual deadline. Then I slept 18 hours, came to hastings, went and got smashed with jacob, shannon, olive, codie and katie (everyone else joined in later) and that was awesome. Then got smashed the next day at the webb house with everyone, plus george, codie and two crazy irish dudes who claimed to drink tequila by the gallon, and that neat tequila was 'pisswater'. That was awesome. Then I went to mums and had bare fruit and veg and a big cooking sessions with her which was good + restorative. Now I'm about to go start work at the warehouse, and I'm having a green tea to wake me up 'cause I only got about 6 hours sleep. This is my life at the end of April.

This really is reaching the level of a physical endurance test. I'm splashing my face with water every 10 minutes and snapping my fingers in front of my face to make sure I keep thinking instead of drifting. I'm becoming quite interested in what I'm writing about, (Rousseau, Wollstonecraft, Masculine-Feminine dichotomy) which is jsut one of those bizarre little things that quite often happens when the situation is already absurd.

!!!

Less than 48 hours and all my deadlines will be gone. The next day and a half is going to be insane. Caffeine ahoy. I'm already on a kind of buzz mode so that the ten minutes until my train back to the flat seems a massive waste of time and I'm writing a blog to give my fingers something to do. Maybe I should get some speed.

This rabbit kind of reminds me of the bread-rabbit

Tumblr

I have resorted to actually searching for 'dissertation' as a tag on Tumblr. My procrastination seems to have a mind of its own, and a penchant for ridiculousness. I have learned that you print off the dissertation for 'binding', and it ends up as a little book? wtf? that's weird. I'll have a little book that I've written, sort of.

Weirdly though, looking at the tumblr posts has motivated me. Gonna do 1000 words, right after this blog. yes sireee. mm. yep. Freikorps here I come you fucking scum-fuck-piece of shit-cunts

I can hear a party a couple of streets away

It sounds cool. After this is done I'm gonna rinse so many drugs that I forget everything I know about the German Revolution. And history generally. And about ordinary tasks.

Enchiladas

They looked shit in the photograph so I'm not putting them up, but in reality they were fucking gorgeous. :D

I'm blogging instead of doing my dissertation.

Storm

There was REALLY loud thunder here just now. 0_0

Senate House

Went to Senate House today to get a wider selection of books to read for my dissertation. What a weird place. It was basically shit. The building was massively confusing, the book selection was basically poor, almost what you'd get at any library... I managed to find one book that I quote-mined, and even that I only really did to justify having gone there. The Ge
rman Historical Institute will be better, perhaps. Gotta wait til Monday for that.

I learned the little riff in Hate To Say I Told You So by The Hives. S'just the same power chord in different places, but I feel quite good about it all the same.

Today I'm makin... Enchiladas! Fucking love enchiladas. I'm gonna put so many in my face. Actually, I thought of making a food blog a while back and photographing the stuff I made. Maybe that's a bit narcissistic though. Ah fuck it what's the harm. I'd need to brush up on my presentation skills though, that's probably the least developed part of my cooking.

Really wanna go to a raucous gypsy rock/swing gig and get hammered on s

pirits and dance around - been doing this essay for days and days. I think it would blast the cobwebs away good and proper. Maybe Jess and Molly will be up for going out on the lash when they get here. The best kinds of night are when you head out basically planless, wrecked and hyped up, and end up in a million different places and seeing loads of people you know. It makes the world feel like home. It's funny though, even when there is a plan, the plan really only ever amounts to a combination of people, a variety of intoxicant and a location. These are the only variables. =p I like that though, really. It leaves things open-ended.

Today I saw two massive murals by Southbank. One said "Life is to blame for everything" and the other was a big clenched fist with "fight the nothingness" written underneath it. I thought they were pretty cool.

2012

Saturday at Linton was such fun. :) Drinking in the sun there is always good. We played umbrella stretch, and then Merlin long-boarded from one end of linton to the other, plucked the stuck umbrella out of the ground, hurled it and stuck it back in again, and seamlessly long-boarded to the station. What a legend! It was nice seeing him even though h
e crush hugged me and threw me around like a toy. He's such an irrepressible maniac. =p The moon was also really good that night.

I've played guitar every day of 2012 so far, which is good. I think it might be the first new years resolution I've really stuck to, except when I was a kid and decid

ed not to drink coke for a year for no particular reason. I was a weird kid. Do people normally stick to their new years resolutions? I get the impression most of them are to do with losing weight and going to the gym... pretty dull really but I suppose if you were fat then it would be a big deal. hehe. BIG deal. God that was really atrocious even by my standards wasn't it? For some reason I take real pleasure in things that are just stupid/lame, hence my habit of deliberately cannibalising all the most ridiculous slang. The guitar is going well, I think, although it's definitely become apparent that you never reach any kind of escape velocity where it gets easier - basically every bit of progress has to be slogged away at. But that's okay, so far I've mostly had the self-discipline to just keep at it without being int

imidated by the difficulty. Hopefully I'll be able to play along with people and be competent enough to do some songs with kie and jess within the year. This is the plan. If I practice hard I can do it I think. Jacob said the other day that my projects and attempts at skill-acquisition are getting more likely to be stuck to on a long term basis, like with cooking. I hope that's true.

I'm half-way through The Scar by China Mieville, which is proving to be his usual gourmet level. It's like the pudding of literature. It's almost sickly, in that the sophistication of the prose just doesn't relent, you can't breathe for the poetry of it... like drowning in custard. He is bloody awesome though, the sheer talent of the man... *fanboy*

At the moment I'm in London on my own, writing up my dissertation. It's a massive mission, but I am quite enjoying it in a strange way. It's pleasant to be able to just about handle myself and know what I'm talking about at this level of complexity.

I've got a penpal now, although I keep forgetting to reply to her letter.

I hope I get a job this summer. I wanna get some new clothes and go out nice places. Money and being busy definitely beat boredom and poverty, although it is great to be able to get ruined for days on end. :D Jess is way better at this than I am, she applies everywhere and works efficiently and stuff. She's gonna be more successful than me, blates.

Well looking forward to Boomtown and bangface! I love raves and partie

s. I would never have predicted it for myself when I was young, but my whole life from 16 onwards attests to this fact. haha. Seriously, getting ruined with a good mixture of strangers and friends is where all the magic happens.

As soon as this dissertation is done, I get another summer with my completely insane friends! Their love buoys me up until my head knocks against the sky. I love that bit of Keats even though mostly he is a sappy shit. And it's true.